PROBLEM SOLVED BE-YATCH!
Hey pessimist, if you want a brighter day, just stare directly into the sun! Yeah, I love to solve problems, and that is why I am here. I’m not here to tell you any candy coated crap so that your ears tingle and you walk away with a smile that is inspired by a false sense of security. Negative people suck, that is why the world sucks, life goes on. I’m on a health kick…yep even with that cheap ($3.00 American) petite Nicaraguan cigar hanging from my lips, while standing in front of my “anti-green” baby blue, but still more economically friendlier than your car, “1973 Volkswagen Super Beetle.” 
It’s pretty sad that my car has more character and balls than you do! Today is Earth day, so I am paying my respects to the Earth by saying, “Thank you environmentalists for making the world actually suck more than it needs to suck!”
It is even more sad (and sucky) that people care more about the environmental issues, than actually learning how to be nice to one another. Wow, basically we should just worship the dirt and dust from which we came, and focus on it, and the other creatures more than what is truly important… like loving your neighbor? Why isn’t there a day called love your neighbor day? Because people hate their neighbors, and care more about the environment, their i-pods, and smart phones, that’s why! They don’t care about people, they care about things. People kill people to get things, and for breaking their things…it’s all about things, and the status of obtaining things…The earth is a total worthless wreck!
Even if I made $30, 000 dollars more a year, (which is the minimum of what I would need to make to afford one) I would not buy a hybrid vehicle. Why? Because I am a conservative, and I believe that my current car is just fine the way it is. That is what it means to be a conservative. It has nothing to do with politics…it’s a way of life. I want to conserve my hard earned money, so that I can have something to leave behind for my future generations. If you spend big, you lose bigger, because you leave yourself, and your future offspring nothing but an endless pile of debt. (No inheritance for your babies?)
How is buying a hybrid vehicle going to save me money? I can quickly tell you how it will not save me money. First, there is that hefty car payment, and then the costly newer vehicle registration. Also, the interest on the loan to buy the car. Then tack on full coverage auto insurance, and high dollar maintenance for keeping the car running every year. Then, I have to base my travel on where I can plug the stupid thing in. Wow, I did not even get into sales taxes yet. Spending money on all these things defeats the purpose of saving money on gas! …and I’m done with this subject now because the hybrid cars look stupid anyway. I think that the manufactures made them look stupid because they really did not want to make them in the first place.
Energy was made to be used (God made it that way). If you do not believe me, just look at the human body…it needs food to make energy so that it can live. It takes energy to make energy, and it also takes even more energy to save energy. If you save energy by not getting any exercise, your body will store it as fat. So the goal is to use energy, not save it, but you do need to save money so that you can buy energy. Energy is needed to produce goods and consume goods. Money is also needed to by the goods. Energy does not trade, it is purchased. For example, you cannot pay your electric bill with pieces of coal, or gallons of gas, or a pile of batteries, you must have money. I’m pretty sure the grocery stores will laugh at you if you try to buy food in the same way.
People spend countless moments pondering the following…
1. World Peace
2. World Domination
What the heck is wrong with this world, happy earth day?
So here we have person type 1, that wants world peace…these kind of people usually do not like to lift a finger to do anything. But, they are very good about complaining, and causing problems, and taking hits off bongs. Their favorite political view is Marxism, and other left wing movements that involve equal pay and free health care for all, even if the person does not work they are entitled? …I think they like free health care because they are too lazy to get a job and pay for it for themselves, so the easiest way is to get it for free, along with free food, and housing?
A type 2 person is for world domination. They usually have a variety of skills and ideologies under their belt,( mostly right wing ), and participate effectively with teamwork type mindsets. A type 2 person is always on time for work, and ready to participate effectively, and put in a hard days work so they can put a roof over their families heads.
And, this is why we do not get along, and earth day sucks just like any other day!
I am just sitting here wasting my life away with homework, wishing that I could write a blog right now. It is crazy how busy life can be, the things beyond our control, the things we have control of, but seem to always make the correct mistake, that ends up with us being in a situation beyond our control again. It happens for a reason, we take control, and lose control in the blink of an eye.
I was conjuring up a great feast for one in my apartment. I had a great view of the moon outside my window as I decided to start cooking the fresh Ahi Tuna that was in my fridge. The second I pulled the raw fish out of the refrigerator, the three cats went nuts! Circling, around my feet, pushing their noses into my ankles. I just ignored them as I prepped the things I needed to. It was when I heated the pan and, started adding the onions and such, the cats (filled with evil, and rage) went all out hissing and scratching each other. As if they were going to get some, they already started claiming their portions among themselves with an Alpha-Kitty-War!
While I raced to the living room to break up the battle with my wooden spoon, one of them thought they could sneak into the kitchen and steal some while I was distracted. Nice try kitty, while you were not looking I placed everything inside the microwave to keep it safe…because I know you better.
Finally the cats settled down as I hummed the favorite song I wrote today, “ha ha kitties, I’m making tuna steaks and you don’t get any!” (I’m an awesome musician like that) They tried to purr and roll their eyes and look all cute, like they were some sort of innocent kitties, but it did not work.
When I said, No Kitties, off the table…they jumped off the table in a hurry, trying to be good. (Yeah right?) When the cats thought I was not looking at them, I noticed that they were then giving me the evil eye, like I’m supposed to reward them with, “my dinner.”
Sorry kitties, until you evolve and learn how to clean up your cat box, and quit barfing up hairballs, you just get to have kitty daydreams while I eat the real food. That’s just how it’s going to be.
Cats are evil, put them outside when you plan on cooking tuna!
Believe it or not, the History of April Fools Day started about 794 years ago in the city of Rome, in the very merry month of May, which is actually mid September. They did it to recall the “Ides of March”, and pay a tribute to the greatest and happiest day of all…the assassination of Julius Caesar.
The “Ides of March” was a day filled with great back stabbings. People just started stabbing people at random from left to right (like a giant free for all death camp!) to relieve stress from a long day of drinking cognac mixed with Chianti, and Orange kool aid. This magical elixir/potion would make people stab people thinking it was just a stress relieving method and nothing more than a practical joke. The happy stabbers actually thought that their friends were playing dead from the joke, with all out theatrical inspiration. (so theatrical it was like watching mimes on steroids!)
The new Roman emperor that replaced Julius Caesar, “Magnificus Sparticus-McKenzie the III” was a total party animal, and it was his magical golden dagger made of beer that made April fools day famous because he stabbed Puff the Magic Dragon in the eye, and liberated Rome from the smelly fart-dragons that infiltrated the Vatican, and their mafia based Catholic faith throughout the land of Italy.
Interestingly, (rhymes with Italy, which makes it an Italian word Ironically, which makes that an Italian word specifically….the Italians invented adverbs…and Italy is an adverb, ironically once again.)… It was Pope Big Nose the II (AKA “Harry Snugleupicus”) that started an underground (another Italian word because it is an adverb) order of elite Roman special forces Knights that helped rid the whole world of dragons, elves gnomes, trolls, dwarfs, and unicorns, wizards, and all species that we consider today as “mythical.” These creatures actually existed until roughly 800, save six years ago. The name of the secret knights was, “The Chivalrous Bastardly Anti-Templar Knights of Knotting-Phlegm. Furthermore, these special forces Knights were actually initiated by Harry Snugleupicus II three hundred and ninety four and sixteen and five years before he was born. Amazingly, (another Italian word) nobody knows these facts except blitpillager, who was the only living historian at the time.
Blitzpillager recorded in his poetic Edda, “I see sixteen and seven rulers of strange city on a hill. They stabbed each other and laughed while they died a warriors death to the last breath, they breathed. I was confused, did they die of laughter, or was it the last drop of blood that left their veins before the Valkyries came and took them away? Soaring, they laughed their way into Valhalla! Odin grimaced, as I envied them but a moment. Then went I berserk and stabbed sixteen men myself with a gravy spoon, and laughed better than they, those week kings on futile thrones!”
In those days humor was dark, and actually killed people. Centuries later laws were decreed to make practical jokes less deadly, and that is why we no longer kill people on April Fools Day in our present times. Perhaps Italy had a prohibition against cognac mixed with chianti, and orange kool aid?
